quinta-feira, 25 de setembro de 2008

Coisas quem têm me irritado (muito)

Ando irritada. Por sorte não possuo arma de fogo e tenho força física limitada. Do contrário, já teria mandado outros seres humanos desta pra uma melhor com as minhas próprias mãos. Meu amigo Caio diz que estou de TPM. No entanto, o meu período pré-mestrual está distante e a minha vida sexual, em dia, o que me leva a cogitar outras causas para tamanho ódio da humanidade, da natureza e dos bichinhos. Compartilho-as:

Déborah Secco, a caipira sexy da novela das oito


Sempre tive implicância com essa moça. Mas infelizmente, sirigaitas costumam ter sorte na vida. Prova disso é que alguém, um dia, certamente sob efeito de drogas pesadas ou inebriado por uma chave de Bu&*$%@ceta bem dada (ou ambas as coisas), disse que ela tinha vocação para ser atriz. Ela acreditou. E o que é pior, não só ela. Diretores e autores renomados na TV Globo dão inquestionável cartaz à sirigaita. E aí está ela, pelo menos uma vez por ano, exibindo o corpicho (cada vez mais magro) e a imensurável chatice numa novela. A impressão que eu tenho é que as personagens dela são sempre iguais, como as da Betty Faria, que se parecem todas com a Tieta.

Mas no atual papel, a namorada do Roger conseguiu me supreender. Afinal, não deve ser fácil compôr uma personagem capiau-ignorante-do-interior que, de um dia pra outro, passa a se expressar com sotaque carioca pelo simples fato de ter deixado o humilde barraco em que morava para virar meretriz de luxo. Palmas pra ela!

Pessoas que se sentam no banco do corredor na van
Vans são ambientes insalubres, motoristas de van são uma subcategoria da espécie humana e, pra completar, só é possivel se deslocar em determinados trajetos fazendo uso desse tipo de transporte coletivo. E como desgraça pouca para pobre é bobagem, ainda temos que enfrentar uma categoria de passagêro sem noção das vans: os que se sentam no último banco da fila, aquele do corredor. Taí uma coisa para a qual ainda não encontrei explicação!

Raciocinem comigo: uma van constuma ter 4 ou 5 fileiras de bancos, separadas por corredores da extensão de um buraco de agulha. Mesmo assim, como diria Nélson Rodrigues, é batata: você entra na van e o único ligar disponível é naquele banquinho que fica lá perto da janela. Ao lado dele, há outros dois bancos ocupados. Resultado: ou segue a viagem em pé, com a postura do Corcunda Quasímodo, ou se aventura a atravessar o corredor (da extensão de um buraco de agulha) utilizando o que sobrou de espaço entre os joelhos dos sem-noção e os bancos da fila da frente. Visualizaram? Não é necessário grande noção de dimensão ambiental para deduzir que moças, digamos, mais abastadas de curvas como eu, acabam, inevitavelmente, arrastando o traseiro no nariz de algum "obstáculo".

A pergunta é: Por que diabos esses cidadãos não acomodaram os traseiros no banco da janela? Por que não deixaram o assento do corredor livre para o incauto cujo acaso levou a entrar na van depois dele? Por que, meu Deus? Será uma espécie de fantasia de cunho sexual? Se for, é um tanto esquisita. Afinal, ter uma bunda desconhecida (e nem sempre bacana) arrastada na sua cara não me parece muito apetecedor...


Seu Jorge e a "mina do condomínio"
"Tô namorando aquela mina / mas não sei se ela minamora / mina maneira do condomínio / lá do bairro onde eu moro"

Alguém reconhece os versos? Pois trata-se do novo hit do Seu Jorge que, como toda porcaria, entrou na lista das mais pedidas de todas as rádios. Das pagodeiras às sertanejas, das pop adolescentes às de MPB moderninha: todas tocam, quase ininterruptamente, essa tentativa de aliteração frustrada. Dia desses, fazia uma ronda pelas estações disponíveis no meu MP3 e me deparei com a "mina" em nada menos que quatro, das seis estações que tenho gravadas. Um adendo: as duas freqüências que não tocavam a famigerada canção eram rádios de notícias. Não tenho colhões, mas imagino que senti algo semelhante a um chute nos mesmos.

93 comentários:

Tio Xavier™ disse...

Débora Seca? Sem comentários.
Van? Quando vier à Sampa te levarei para passear no The Train.
O Seu Jorge faz pior quando canta com a Ana Carolina.

Kika Gada disse...

Tem mesmo certeza que não é TPM?
Hahahahaha
Saudades

Ricardo Soares disse...

muito legal o seu blog... muito legal o nome do seu blog![bj)

Ana Carolina Carpintéro disse...

lembro quem um dia a nossa querida amiga 'secca' deu uma entrevista para a Ana Maria Braga e disse que estava fazendo aulas para aprender o sotaque do interior de goias.
deve ter sido um cursinho bem básico mesmo pq só lembro do sotaque de minhoca nos 3 primeiros capitulos. depois que ela mudou de roupa e penteou o cabelo, virou carioca.
Tadinha , deve dar muito trabalho atuar e fazer novela ao mesmo tempo...

Juliana disse...

Por que a Secco não acompanhou o namorado? Até hoje lamento o fato.

Sobre a van, pior ainda são os sem-noção que ainda fazem cara feia quando queremos passar.

Mas relaxa! Só nos resta mesmo rir de ambas as situações.

Raphael Crespo disse...

Seu Jorge é ruim pra c...!!!!
Um mendigo que acha que faz música.

Jane disse...

Eu acho que é TPM! Embora os fatos descritos sejam realmente irritantes!

Glayce Santos disse...

Desculpe a invasão, sou limpinha...rs
Não posso deixar de comentar:
Eu concordo com TUDO! Essa Déborah Do Sol Céu Secco é intragável! Eu não entendo que tanto de sexy ela é...E não é coisa de mulher que gosta d efalar mal de outras mulhres, mas...O que tem? O que ela É??? Uma interpretação hilária que faz confundir...Não sei se estou assistindo A favotira, pé na jaca ou America...tsc tsc

Desculpe o desabafo, mas é que vc escrveu tudo!

bjos

Anônimo disse...

Eu também fiquei muito intrigado com o rapto do sotaque... Bjs, musa! Marcio Arruda

Fabricio Yuri disse...

Sabe nada sobre van, vc. eu sou dessa tribo que senta no determinado banco.

O dia que vc resolver crescer - para cima - até algo acima de 1.90 vai entender que o espaço entre a cabeça - do fêmur - e a rótula de pessoas bem dotadas - de altura - é muito maior que aquele entrebancos do transporte alternativo.

declaro guerra a você!!!

Celamar Maione disse...

Affe, eu não vejo a novela, mas já li um comentário muito interessante, feito pelo Arthur Xexeo de que a Débora Secco fala e ninguém entende nada...que coisa, hein ?!
Contando tudo o que você contou é realmente pra deixar qualquer um com TPM. Tem notícia que mexe com o hormônio mesmo. Beijão

Samantha J. disse...

Você está reclamando da 'mina do condomínio' e nem ouviu ainda a que ele fala da 'burguesinha, burguesinha'. Não sei onde ele vai parar!

Gabriela Martins disse...

Seu Jorge é um bosta, prontofalei.

E. Farias disse...

Pior do que batalhar espaçø na van, são aqueles manés que penduram o celular no pescoço, em transportes coletivos, e escutam a maldita música do Seu Jorge SEM FONE DE OUVIDO, assim, na caixinha de som do celular. E dependendo do trajeto da viagem, rola um playlist medonho!
Sobre a Débora Secco, ela perdeu uma ótima oportunidade de virar sapa-cabeça, quando fez Confusões de Aborrescente.... agora, temos que aturar... aff!

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